Happy To Be ME

I am in a "sort of" stage, since a few months back.

Since my bf died last March, my path is slowly getting clearer. Wherever the path leads, I will follow. Am sure I will be distracted along the way but heck, that's what life is all about. Series of incidents, fortunate or unfortunate alike, are important in making things achieve fruition.

The universe is indeed making its move. Let it achieve its purpose.

Meanwhile, I am enjoying life, happy where I am. I live alone. I have Magnolia (she's a dog!). I have a job. Good friends. And well, I date a lot. (hahahahahaha)

I am living. I am doing what I want. I simply am.

My previous experience has prepared me for "private" time. Interacting with too many people around you will make you appreciate being alone. Getting used to pressure will make you welcome "quiet times" with open arms and a big grin.

Finally, it's time to indulge. To nurture the self. Don't call it narcissism or vanity. It's more of being in touch with the universe, it's being ME.

Don't see anything wrong with that. Developing the self is important in fact. I believe that achieving "balance" is just a matter of time after you discover who you really are, what stuff you are made of, what path have you chosen to follow.

I still surprise myself (thank God!). I am much calmer now than I've ever been. Passive? Well, let's just say, I have learned a lot about picking the right battles.

I used to be impulsive, competitive, struggling with emotions--very superficial. Now, am driven but not calloused. Competitive but not bitter. Accepting but not apathetic.

I know that compromising won't do me any good. I am now working towards pleasing the "self" instead of "others". When I was younger, it's the other way around.

I learned not to depend on others' opinion for validation. Learning to love the self will do the world good. No more battered women perhaps or no more clamoring for equal rights. I wouldn't explain that, ok? It's complicated.

So what am I really saying? Simple. If you lose yourself in this chaotic world, then you're as good as dead.

"Never compromise yourself. It's the only one you've got." --Janis Joplin